Travel Blog

While I am tempted to try the proven method to get more friend requests on MySpace: stick a digital camera down the front of my shirt, post a picture of my cleavage with the caption "Postcard from the Grand Canyon", I decided to upload another travel photo. It is from Spring Break 2006. The first time I posted it I was amused by comments alerting me to the fact there was a large boat behind me. So here's a little quiz for my friends. Why did I post this photo?

1) I'm running away from home and will perform comedy on board some random cruise ship;
2) This is the only photo of a decent nature I have that proves I DO have certain womanly features;
3) It's a tribute to the port in Jamaica that likely will not EXIST after it's ravaged by Hurricane Dean.

Okay, it's not just a TRIBUTE but an apology to some of the previous travelblogs I've written indicating I did not have such a fun time on this island. The photo caption, if there was one, would read, "Just snap the @&*ing picture so I can get back on the ship and drink enough Rum Runners so I can forget this day."

It started out with our decision to take my son and his 3 friends on one of those overpriced excursions which was GROSSLY misrepresented. A "leisurely" rafting tour down a tropical river sounded like it would be worth the price. We got our money's worth right away on the bus tour up a REALLY big mountain (that should have warned me the trip would not be leisurely). Our cheerful tour guide told the boys that they harvest packs of condoms from the rubber trees.

At the top of the mountain we were greeted by more cheerful people who wanted to sell us some whimsical carvings of a man with a barrel around his waist. When you pulled the barrel down, something popped up! My son walked away when I asked if little packs of condoms were sold separately.

We then squeezed our average sized butts into miniature inner tubes. Presumably these were "the rafts". The trip WAS leisurely...until we hit THE RAPIDS. This is also where more cheerful people, obviously engaged in a second job since it wasn't rubber harvesting time...taking pictures of drenched, frightened tourists to later sell at inflated prices.

Thank goodness we had time to do some shopping after this excursion. Except we were not in the market for what the street vendors wanted to sell. No, I DON'T want my hair braided and the teenage kids in my care are not allowed to smoke pot. Finally we found a quaint little shop...that sold MORE "wee-wee" statues.

So as I reflect on the crazy memory of that day and realize the dock on which I'm standing in the photo may not be there in a few hours, I am praying for the safety of the residents of this island and other places that will be impacted by Hurricane Dean.